I’m becoming more and more disappointed in the sources from which we find story material for films.
I’ve recently become aware of these trailers advertising a movie coming out by the name of Battleship. Yes, it is based off of the game many of us have played back in the day (or currently). This is a game that technically has no story to it, but at the very least insinuates that you are playing as two nations fighting each other. The film, facing the lack of an existing story, must create one and even goes so far as to establish a scenario where a naval military is going against extra-terrestrial!
How does a story like this come about? Did a writer come up with an idea for a story about the Navy fighting aliens and perhaps have a movie executive decide “Hey, let’s take this story and slap the ‘Battleship’ brand name on it to attract attention!”? Probably not, it was more likely the case that someone wanted a movie of Battleship to be made, and tried to find someone to “come up” with a story to fit the scenario.
Making movies based on toys that have no pre-established story is not new. I enjoy the recent Transformers films as simple action movies that you see once in the theatres and then move on. But one of the reasons those films work at all is that they do have a sort of pre-existing mythos established in cartoons and comics; granted, the films’ stories are still not that great.
Now I go on the Internet only to find that even more story-less toy lines are in the works for film adaptations. Hasbro, the owners of the Transformers, Battleship, and G.I. Joe toy lines, are now “working with writers on moviesbased on Stretch Armstrong, Risk, Clue, Monopoly, Ouija, Micronauts andCandyland”.
What’s next, should they have Michael Bay direct a My Little Pony adaptation?
I can only hope that films based on these toys and games are treated as well as the film based on Clue back in 1985. Despite it’s mixed reviews, the film was funny, and actually seemed as though the writers cared about making a good, well-written story.
Oh, did I forget to mention Real Steele, which seems based on “Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots”? Waaah, no; blah blah blah, Hugh Jackman, whine, moan. Actually, I’ll be forgiving that one on account that it’s not actually using the franchise name so, at the very least, is not explicitly banking on the fame of the toy. I also have not seen the film and cannot provide commentary.




